Today I want to write for veterans of war. I guess we all are if we dig deeper. Shell shock has done a lot of damage even in young children. You have to deal with weird allusions.

Shell shock is a term coined in World War I to describe the type of post-traumatic stress disorder many soldiers were afflicted with during the war (before PTSD was termed). It is a reaction to the intensity of the bombardment and fighting that produced a helplessness appearing variously as panic and being scared, flight, or an inability to reason, sleep, walk or talk.

Lazarus of Bethany is the subject of a prominent miracle of Jesus in the Gospel of John, in which Jesus restores him to life four days after his death. In the context of the seven signs in the Gospel of John, the raising of Lazarus is the climactic narrative: exemplifying the power of Jesus “over the last and most irresistible enemy of humanity—death. For this reason it is given a prominent place in the gospel.”

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Why Did We Fight For?

Most shell shock victims can wonder why we have to end up in a fight. WW1 was a “war to end all wars”. But it didn’t work out. That question is what haunts most veterans.

But the 2nd question is ask myself is: “I wonder if winning this fight will be of any use”. After all, who wants to be the saviour of humanity? Isn’t it typical of a kind of misery to think the weight of the world should be on your shoulders?

One could think those wars originate because of “queen jealousy”, a clever mix of sadness, anger, frustration and disgust. But the truth behind all wars is that this isn’t only jealousy: there’s also humiliation never far away.

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Did You Do It So We Can Exercise?

Maybe those wars are a kind of exercise. After all, you have to practice to get better. And theory and practice can be very different.

I think what’s key in all wars is information. It’s critical to have trustworthy informer as if you were a Native Indian making some smoke sign to alert your tribe from a menace.

The humiliation factor is of tremendous importance: one can cope with jealousy when it is mild and makes you admire that person for what they do. But humiliation is a strange feeling, mostly because it will get from bad to worse. And you have a hard time understanding what’s going on: they are making a transference and see if it works.

And that’s how sometimes your worst enemy can become your best friend. Because sometimes humiliation can lead to a wonderful giftedness.

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What Colour Do You See With Shell Shock?

Jimi Hendrix is formal: the red he sees means he’s confident, victorious and thinks of a new challenge. But the real challenge with wars and shell shock is understand the long run. Veterans often have bad reminiscence of the intensity of the combat.

I guess life is an extreme experience since you are born and that’s why you need a family and class mates when you are young. Because only solidarity will allow you to survive in extreme conditions.

Death is usually for those who don’t want to come back. Then life could be about coming back home or getting over that experience where all you see is a weakest link and how it could affect your chances to live a long and happy life.

Jesus and his relationship to death is somewhat extraordinary. But why should death be an enemy? Isn’t it an option for those who can’t get any rest and are driven crazy because they have a hard time behaving?

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Do Veterans See Rainbows From Time To Time?

I try to go out of my home everyday. Of course, if my rainbow was at home, maybe I wouldn’t go out everyday. But I can see rainbows almost everyday in coffee shops.

A lot of emotions are making me weak and several intense experiences battle inside of me. They all want to be the boss. I guess the right intense experience that should take over is the one that make me relax.

I have to dig in my memory the right year where everything was wonderful. The last time I was sober I felt bad though. That’s because if you aren’t drunk, you lose consciousness. And that might be why veterans suffer: trying to get sober after several years of hard battles might be a battle not worth fighting for.

In this song Hendrix mentions the Axis (which reminds me of Rome-Berlin-Tokyo aka Roberto in 1945). We need to be bold because playing on the safe side is for pussies. That’s also an advice from Hemingway (my writing checker): “be bold, don’t hedge”.

I guess we need people to open new paths toward space and love. That’s why sometimes I think the heart can’t tell if you’re a kingpin or a pauper.

Nicolas Sursock

Written by Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas is a musician. His work now focuses on digesting 10000 songs of jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk and electronic. He plays the guitar if he's not blogging.